I feel bad

I guess I shouldn't have taken that position when it was offered to me. I feel guilty. Because I have so many degrees, it seems I've pushed someone out to make room for me. I wish I could apologize but I don't know how. Maybe I should have stayed at Toudai. They would have stopped bullying me eventually, especially with Renji returning. Maybe they would have even forgotten about the whole childhood mental health issues.

I'm still worried that he's going to be disappointed with me for letting them win. And for not really taking care of myself while he was gone.