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I feel bad
Dec. 21st, 2014 04:14 pmI guess I shouldn't have taken that position when it was offered to me. I feel guilty. Because I have so many degrees, it seems I've pushed someone out to make room for me. I wish I could apologize but I don't know how. Maybe I should have stayed at Toudai. They would have stopped bullying me eventually, especially with Renji returning. Maybe they would have even forgotten about the whole childhood mental health issues.
I'm still worried that he's going to be disappointed with me for letting them win. And for not really taking care of myself while he was gone.
I'm still worried that he's going to be disappointed with me for letting them win. And for not really taking care of myself while he was gone.
In the market for a new blender
Nov. 30th, 2014 04:31 pmMy blender exploded yesterday while I was trying to make my morning health smoothie. I must have overworked the poor thing. I guess I'll go out and see if I can find a really good one that can hold up as well as the last one. It's a good thing I've been recording all the things I use my blender for so I can get the best one.
Been staring at a blank screen for hours
Nov. 17th, 2014 10:28 pmThis hasn't happened in a very long time. I seem to have hit a wall in my latest novel. I have all the notes and plot summaries and all that I need to write, but I just can't seem to get the words out. Strange. I could write that horror movie script in less then 4.5 hours. This....I've been at this for two days now. The cursor is mocking me, 100%
Maybe I need to do research. Collect some more data on what I'm writing and get some inspiration that way.
Maybe I need to do research. Collect some more data on what I'm writing and get some inspiration that way.
teenagers are strange
Oct. 13th, 2014 09:35 pmIt's been a while since I've taught young students. However, I feel that I am doing well here. Hyotei has high standards and they didn't seem at all intimidated by the sheer amount of degrees I possess. The pay might be less than I got at the university, but I don't really need to worry about that. My books are selling very well.
Speaking of books, I'm nearly done with the second draft of my latest, Pi. It goes to my editor again tomorrow. I can't wait to see what he says.
Speaking of books, I'm nearly done with the second draft of my latest, Pi. It goes to my editor again tomorrow. I can't wait to see what he says.
My two week notice
Sep. 7th, 2014 08:37 amI give up. It's simply not logical to continue in such a toxic place as this. I love ToDai. I love teaching math. But the politics and the way I have been treated is simply too much for me. With yet another visit to yet another psychological professional, I have decided that enough is enough. They win. I'm quitting. They won't treat me like this and still expect me to use my data to assist their sports teams to winning seasons, like I've done in the past.
I've decided that I'll live off of the proceeds of my novels and work for a small cram school. I'll also be working with young children at a day camp for math and sciences. I want to see if I can't get a nice little BattleBot team together. Use my degree in advanced robots for something not theoretical.
This whole experience has made me relive a very hard time in my life and made me remember how much I detest a soft-science like psychitiry. As much as it helps in data collection to know what people are thinking, that was always Renji's area. I'm the numbers man. Quantified. Repeatable. As much as I've hated thids all, it has given me an idea for another novel.
I've decided that I'll live off of the proceeds of my novels and work for a small cram school. I'll also be working with young children at a day camp for math and sciences. I want to see if I can't get a nice little BattleBot team together. Use my degree in advanced robots for something not theoretical.
This whole experience has made me relive a very hard time in my life and made me remember how much I detest a soft-science like psychitiry. As much as it helps in data collection to know what people are thinking, that was always Renji's area. I'm the numbers man. Quantified. Repeatable. As much as I've hated thids all, it has given me an idea for another novel.
More doctors and not the right one
Aug. 21st, 2014 05:16 pmSo, an update as to my current situation. I have been referred to yet another psychiatrist. This will be the fourth one that has seen me since this all started. I am starting to think that no matter what I say or do, the dean and the college board is never going to believe that I'm 100% not crazy.
The last one seems to think that my trouble all extends from my being "too smart for my own good" and that I'm getting this run around because my multiple doctorates and various other degrees intimidates the board. I sort of agree. I have done more in the last 10 years than they have done in a lifetime.
I think I need cheering up. It seems the BBC America channel is playing a non-stop Dr Who Marathon in preparation for the first episode with Peter Capaldi's Doctor this weekend. I think this calls for some popcorn, my 15 foot long scarf, a sonic screwdriver and my couch.
The last one seems to think that my trouble all extends from my being "too smart for my own good" and that I'm getting this run around because my multiple doctorates and various other degrees intimidates the board. I sort of agree. I have done more in the last 10 years than they have done in a lifetime.
I think I need cheering up. It seems the BBC America channel is playing a non-stop Dr Who Marathon in preparation for the first episode with Peter Capaldi's Doctor this weekend. I think this calls for some popcorn, my 15 foot long scarf, a sonic screwdriver and my couch.
review boards
Aug. 5th, 2014 11:58 pmI had the most wonderful dream. Something I've always hoped and dreamed of happened. It was so wonderful. I almost didn't want to wake up, but I needed to be before the dean today so I did.
It seems that my tenure track application is being questioned due to a thing that happened when I was 14. I have attempted to explain that it was in the past and was a one time thing. They want me to go see someone anyway, to make sure I am telling the truth.
It seems that my tenure track application is being questioned due to a thing that happened when I was 14. I have attempted to explain that it was in the past and was a one time thing. They want me to go see someone anyway, to make sure I am telling the truth.
hard choices
Jul. 25th, 2014 11:50 pmWith all that is going on here at home, I had to make a hard choice. I had the opportunity to come to Comic Con in America as an Industry Guest because of my novels. But I cannot feel comfortable leaving right now with things the way they are even if it's only for four days. There are too many variables that might alter things poorly while I was away.
Perhaps, if they still want me, I'll attend next year.
Perhaps, if they still want me, I'll attend next year.
Check lists
Jul. 9th, 2014 09:46 pmI have checked off all the boxes in my Storm Preparedness manual. I think I am 99.8% ready. I expect that I will still need to go to Todai until I am told otherwise. I know I could call off but at the moment, with everything else that's happening right now, I need some semblance of normality.
Wish me luck
Jun. 23rd, 2014 06:32 pmThe Powers That Be at ToDai are talking to me about my getting put on Tenure-track. This would be great. I'll have to publish a few more mathematical papers. But before that, I have the final manuscript and illustrations going to my editor. I'm hoping to have a Book Signing sometime in mid to late July.
Caution: Ranting Nerd Ahead.
Jun. 2nd, 2014 05:24 pmasdfl;kjas;lkdjslfkakls;ajfks;lajf. FRAG!
You have got to be joking. Of all the ridiculous things to find out about, today I discover that some Nerfherder has copyrighted the Pi symbol. That's right. This little symbol.
π
How dare they! This symbol is over 3000 years old! It represents mathematically the ratio of the diameter of a circle to its circumference. It's also the letter P in Greek.
Pi doesn't belong to you! Pi belongs to everyone!! No frelling Sithspit is going to take Pi away from me or anyone else. To do so is not only illogical but completely irrational, no pun intended.
I just have one thing to say to you!!
Just for that, my next novel shall be titled π
You have got to be joking. Of all the ridiculous things to find out about, today I discover that some Nerfherder has copyrighted the Pi symbol. That's right. This little symbol.
π
How dare they! This symbol is over 3000 years old! It represents mathematically the ratio of the diameter of a circle to its circumference. It's also the letter P in Greek.
Pi doesn't belong to you! Pi belongs to everyone!! No frelling Sithspit is going to take Pi away from me or anyone else. To do so is not only illogical but completely irrational, no pun intended.
I just have one thing to say to you!!
Just for that, my next novel shall be titled π
I discovered the reason
Jun. 1st, 2014 09:12 pmI went to the doctor about my inability to sleep. Part of the reason is the usual; my brain not shutting down long enough to actually achieve rest. He has recommended that I stop everything an hour before I want to sleep. No external stimuli, and see how that works. If not, I will be prescribed something. The other part of it is due to the nature of an important event coming up very very shortly.
This will be the first shared birthday in years. I suppose the knowledge of some many missed birthdays has stressed me out a little.I don't sleep because I fear waking up and finding that it's all been a dream. I feel once the date has passed, I will be 100% better.
This will be the first shared birthday in years. I suppose the knowledge of some many missed birthdays has stressed me out a little.
it's getting worse
May. 28th, 2014 07:00 pmMy insomnia is getting worse. I've not slept in 3 day, 22 hours. 19 minutes... I think I might need to go to a doctor. That, or discover what it is that is keeping me up at night. I no longer can blame writing inspiration.
My insomnia is getting worse. I've only slept a few hours in the last three or four days. When I lay down next to Renji and close my eyes, I suddenly get all these ideas for my next novel and I can't just go to sleep until I have them all written down and out of my head.
I'm so tired that I'm starting to imagine things that aren't there. I am 99% exhausted to the point of physical collapse at this point but I still can't sleep...
I'm so tired that I'm starting to imagine things that aren't there. I am 99% exhausted to the point of physical collapse at this point but I still can't sleep...
dinosaurs from the depths
May. 2nd, 2014 08:21 pmIn the annals of geeky things, I would be remiss not to mention one of the greatest movie monsters. It's been 60 years since Godzilla first roared onto the silver screen. While it might not have been the most amazing cinematic masterpiece, it's still fun to watch. I think maybe I'll Netflix Godzilla vs MechaGodzilla. It's one of my personal favorites.
And speaking of dinosaurs: Tooyama-kun, please check your mail tomorrow. I have the manuscript for our children's book overnighted to you. I look forward to seeing your drawings.
And speaking of dinosaurs: Tooyama-kun, please check your mail tomorrow. I have the manuscript for our children's book overnighted to you. I look forward to seeing your drawings.
